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Advice – How can I suck better? (NSFW)

“How do I get my husband’s cock down my throat? I’ve been blowing him for 16 years, and have yet to master this skill. It’s time. His cock needs to be down my throat before the stroke of midnight. How the fuck do I defeat my gag reflex, and shove a massive dick into my airway, without dying or turning him off from the wet gagging and coughing?!”

Wango Wango Wango on /r/sex.

Photo by Sarah Trummer on Pexels.com

Dear Wango Wango Wango,

Let’s start with this. Deepthroating is not a skill that everyone can master. Due to the wildly variable sizes and shapes of our mouths, tongues, and throats as well as the sizes and shapes of our partners’ penises, not everyone can comfortably deepthroat without the gag reflex ruining the experience. It’s like not every couple can have a deeply satisfying anal intercourse with minimal preparation. Sometimes, some sexual acts are just out of the cards. You can’t just force what doesn’t work.

With that said, if you are really dedicated to making deepthroating work for both of you, first think about what kind of sensations your husband has appeared to enjoy in the sixteen years you’ve enjoyed oral sex together. Different folks like different sensations; so one person’s deepthroat methods might look very different from another. Do take some time to think about how you can implement those sensations into deepthroating.

Once you’ve done the mental homework, now is the time to put it into practice. You need to start off real slow. I’m not sure where your own personal gag reflex point is, but start at about 3/4th of the depth you think would initially trigger your gag reflex and slowly allow to go deeper, maybe 1/8 or 1/4 inch at a time. Once the head of his penis starts pressing into your uvula (that’s the bell-like flesh at the back of your throat, normally where folks get gag reflexes), stop with the back and forth motion and slowly inch in. Keep that depth in mind. That’s the maximum depth he can go, at least for tonight.

If that depth doesn’t cover the full length of his penis, there are other ways to simulate or augment the same sensation he would get from your mouth. The best way is to use your hand(s). If you generously lubricate your fingers and palm(s) with your saliva and grip loosely, I can guarantee that your husband would not know the difference in sensations only using the base of his penis. Have your hands follow along with the overall direction of your mouth, as if your hands are an extension of your lips.

If your husband thinks that you using your fingers or hands is “cheating”, fuck that. And tell him to be a good boy, close his eyes, and enjoy the sensation.

Good luck!

Tea Time with Tomato is an informative relationship and sex advice column for both monogamous and polyamorous folks. By submitting your post, you agree to let me use your story in part or in full. You also agree to let me edit or elaborate for clarity.

I want to hear your thoughts and feedback! Please feel free to send me your questions and comments at teatimetomato@gmail.com. If you liked my advice for this post, please subscribe below to get alerted when my next advice column is published!

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