Menu Home

Advice – I need help swallowing. [NSFW]

Photo by Dana Tentis on Pexels.com

/u/grandnacho on /r/sex writes…

“I [23F] have been with my SO [22M] for 3 years now. I feel we have a really strong connection, we are open and honest about everything, and our sex life still thrives more than ever. He loves going down on me, and is always so sweet and reassuring that I look great and how he can’t get enough of my taste (which is a big thing for me since I was really self conscious about this for the first year of our relationship). I love going down on him too and he has expressed to me before how hot it is for me to swallow while he orgasms. The idea of it is hot to me too, and I have done it in the past (maybe 5 times total) but the actually swallowing process is so difficult for me!

I think it may stem from this one occasion (at the very beginning of our relationship) when we went for dinner and then later I gave him a BJ where I swallowed. Now I’m not sure why, maybe it was my stomach full on food or the taste/texture of the cum, but my gag reflex completely gave up and I threw up after he came in my mouth. A lot. I was so embarrassed after but he was so unbelievably nice about it, we cleaned it up together (still cringing looking back on it), and he reassured me that if I didn’t feel good or couldn’t handle it I should have just communicated this with him or not forced myself to swallow.

Now being together for a few more years and exploring our sex lives more. The idea of having him cum in my mouth and all over my face is so hot to me! I love the idea of not letting go until I’ve swallowed every last bit. But… the taste and gag reflex is still weaker then ever and I find it so difficult to swallow still, it’s something about the taste/texture. I’ve communicated this with him and we’ve been trying to work on it, he always reassures me that there’s absolutely zero pressure and it’s not a big deal if I can’t swallow. But this is something I want for me! I know this is a learning curve, but if anyone can give me any tips or suggestions I would really appreciate how to overcome this!”

Dear Grand Nacho,

I am first going to share a personal anecdote before I get to your tips and advice.

I touched on my own personal experience with bananas here. I hate bananas. I had one bad experience that has forever shaped my feelings toward bananas. I was maybe eight or nine, still living in Korea at this time. My parents had taken me and my sister on a long road trip. We were stuck in traffic for some reason (probably because it was following a national holiday). I was getting hungry from sitting in the car for so long, so my mom offered me a stale banana as a snack. I was immediately hit with that pungent smell of banana that quickly permeated throughout the car. Most of my family seemed unperturbed, but I was quickly horrified at how heavy and musky it was. I was hungry, so I bit into that anyway. And it was mushy and warm in the first bite. I immediately opened the window and spat it out. Once the car stopped moving, I asked my mom to pull over and vomited off the side of the highway. It has been twenty years since that experience, and I have still not touched a fresh banana. Banana-flavored ice creams and banana bread were all fine. But the actual banana itself was off-limits to me.

A couple weeks ago, I had my first banana since that experience. I was out with all of my partners on a hinge date dinner and they had a fried banana on the dessert menu. Both my nesting partner S and my girlfriend L both love bananas. So they shared that dessert, while my partner M and I shared a different green tea dessert option. It had been a while since I last had a banana, and of course each of my partners knew about my personal aversion to bananas at this point. They offered a small fork-sized banana (with heaps of ice cream on top) for me to try out. With equal parts encouragement and bewilderment from my partners, I put banana in my mouth. The fried banana itself was not awful. The mushiness of the dessert was well balanced with the breading in fried banana. But it was mostly the ice cream that helped me swallow that hideous monster of a dessert option.

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

Maybe you can re-approach cum the same way I have re-approached bananas, in smaller quantities at first.

I am really sad to hear that you had such a difficult experience with cum. But your enthusiasm to explore your love for cum and your partner’s enthusiasm to help you get over your first bad experience is equal parts enlightening and wholesome.

Instead of going straight from working with gag reflex and swallowing his load whole, why not consider enjoying him at your own pace, and slowly work yourself up to swallowing him?

Consider this. Have him lie on his back as he ejaculates on his stomach. While he is recovering from his orgasm, lick his cum off of his body. That should be able to give you some physical distance from his cum so that you can enjoy his cum at your own pace. If both you and your partner are comfortable with that, then he can ejaculate a couple inches from your mouth next time, carefully aiming and working with the gravity to make sure that the cum ends up in your mouth without triggering the gag response. If all of that goes well, then you can segue your progress into swallowing his cum from as he directly ejaculates into your mouth.

Another quick tip for the taste of the cum. The cum flavor can depend heavily on your diet as well as your lifestyle. This article from Healthline suggests that food like celery, pineapple, and oranges improve the taste of semen while food like onions, meat, and coffee make the semen taste more bitter. So try different food combinations to see if those improve that taste/texture of cum for your own enjoyment.

Good luck!

Tea Time with Tomato is an informative relationship and sex advice column for both monogamous and polyamorous folks. By submitting your post, you agree to let me use your story in part or in full. You also agree to let me edit or elaborate for clarity.

I want to hear your thoughts and feedback! Please feel free to send me your questions and comments at teatimetomato@gmail.com.

Categories: Advice

Tagged as:

teatimewithtomato

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: