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Advice – My partner jokes about my size [NSFW]

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/u/SoGoodUK on /r/sex writes…

“So I guess first thing to say is we’ve been together a long time (6 years), I’m her first sexual partner, she’s never seen another penis over than on porn.

We have a good sex life and it’s become better over recent months as we’re trying new things we both enjoy.

I’m definitely a grower and not a shower but I’ve been with a fair amount of sexual partners and some of them have been much more experienced than my current partner.

From open conversations with ex partners and a close female friend I trust, I’m happy that I fall in the slightly above average area in length / girth.

But my partner every so often will say stuff like “You think you’re dick is so much bigger than it is don’t you” followed by a mocking bending of her little finger, sometimes she’ll do this in-front of other people.

This is really starting to get to me, any advice on how to deal with this would be amazing!

Thanks!”

Dear So Good UK,

Male sexuality is way too often incorrectly correlated with the size of their penis. That confusion comes from all different perspectives, constantly perpetuated in the media & porn, and socially enforced in often denigrating perspective regarding “big is always better.” It is often a very sensitive topic for a lot of men as the society at large so incorrectly correlates the size of their penis with their sexual abilities.

However, I do not think the issue here is in the size of your manhood or your sexual abilities. I think it has much more to do with your partner’s sense of humor. Or more specifically, a complete lack of tact when it comes to her sense of humor.

A lot of women cannot fully grasp why so many men fixate on the size of their penis. Maybe a thoughtful reminder is needed for your partner in that penis size is often a very sensitive topic and not something to be joked about, especially in front of others, and especially not as it relates to your size. It isn’t like you can just drop your trousers and indecently expose your perfectly above average penis to your friends and colleagues. So communicating with her about how these jokes are insensitive would be a really great start.

I mean, it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to publicly joke about her breast size or weight in front of other people, yeah? Yeah. I don’t see how joking about your penis size should be acceptable either.

Good luck!

Tea Time with Tomato is an informative relationship and sex advice column for both monogamous and polyamorous folks. By submitting your post, you agree to let me use your story in part or in full. You also agree to let me edit or elaborate for clarity.

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